Moms Raising Their Own Children: Example & Work

While I was visiting Keith and Bethany and their children at their home in Michigan this past week, I picked up a book about the myth of being able to have a full-time/outside the home career and children too and do it all well.

The author makes the point that it has done mothers who raise their own children an insulting disservice to label them "stay at home moms". What they really are is mothers raising their own children (mrtoc), an infinitely complex, demanding, fulfilling calling and occupation that each child's mother is best suited to because no one else loves her child like she does.

Mothers who raise their own children are as much like the daycare providers or babysitters, whom children who are being raised by other than their mothers are entrusted to several hours each day, as someone you pay to come in to clean your house is like a homemaker. Keeping a child safe, warm, dry, fed and entertained is a fraction of what a mother does for her children.

For example, mothers are constantly training their children by their example to be like themselves, to value what they value, to do what they do. They are teaching them limits and giving them areas to explore in great numbers of ways, all day long. Other children who are not related to them are not there to compete for their mother's attention. No, each mother's child is the apple of her eye, and she communicates that to them all day long in a huge variety of ways. Just this one aspect of mrtoc is reason enough to only entrust your children to childcare providers for a limited time each week. But there are many other important reasons as well. Here is one big one.

Work is what we are made for. Each successful adult in life is able to work at a variety of tasks that bring satisfaction and meaning as well as provision for his life. Being able to work is a skill that makes one responsible and able to be independent. Children who grow up cared for mothers and fathers who include them in many of the daily tasks necessary to keep body and soul together gain well-being and confidence that a child who has everything done for them and is left to play all day with peers will not develop. So a mrtoc having her toddler put the forks on, dry the unbreakable cups, help her make the bed, fold the washcloths, fix the meal, dust the bookcase or help her in the grocery store is doing a far-reaching service for that child. She is teaching him/her to work and that she/he is an important part of the family, necessary to its well-being. This is the kind of self-esteem you want a child to develop. Child care providers cannot do this, it being their very job to do everything for the child!

In future posts, we'll talk about children learning male and female identity, customized training according to each child's bent, basic obedience, spiritual training, playing outdoors and other home health practices, preparation for formal learning, pitfalls, living on a budget, how cool this is or isn't and much more. The riches mothers can impart to their own children in their own homes will take your breath away! Every sacrifice that is made to make this kind of home possible for your children is worth it!

I raised my own five children in my home, starting in 1979. I'm still learning how to do the things above with my youngest son who is 17 now. I was very encouraged by the book I mentioned. It made me proud of what I had done and am still doing. And it made me want to encourage every mother I know to raise their own children!